Guest Post!
Today I am honored (and a little frightened) to turn my blog over to Lynn Hudoba whose own blog, My Life as an Ungraceful, Unhinged, and Unwilling Draftee into the Autism Army is one of my first cyber stops every day. After reading her guest post, I am certain you will see why.
Tomorrowland
Jerry Seinfeld did a bit on his old show about “Night Guy” and “Morning Guy”, and how the former always screws the latter. Night Guy stays out late and gets drunk and doesn’t care about the hangover because that’s Morning Guy’s problem.
I was reminded of this joke as I was pondering potential fallout from my blog. I blog rather openly about life with my autistic daughter, Audrey. I freely use my full, actual name, Audrey’s real first name (she has a different last name than me), and post photos and video of her. I’ve jokingly teased other bloggers who use pseudonyms and don’t post pictures, Big Daddy being one of them. Big Daddy tries to pretend this his first and middle names are indeed “Big” and “Daddy”, but I know better. No flies on me. BD finally copped to his real first name and I’m still suffering the PTSD. Suffice to say, that his pseudonyminizing isn’t solely for privacy reasons.
Anyway, I’ve been feeling slightly less blowhardy on the topic lately, and have started to take some (hopefully not too late) measures to protect our privacy a bit more. But I’m not going to stop being frank and open about our lives.
Will Future Me be pissed off at Present Me if classmates of Future Audrey get their hands on my blog and use it as fodder against her? More importantly, what will Future Audrey think? Present Audrey loves looking at the pictures and videos of herself on the blog, but she can’t conceive of any potential issues down the road.
Present Me is hoping that Future Audrey will be very understanding of Present Me and the therapeutic role that blogging had in my life. If not, I’m assuming that Future Audrey will for sure be able to turn herself into a cyborg at will. The Audrinator will travel back in time to April 1, 2010, the day that I started my blog, and stop me from typing those first words with her steely claw.
I’d better hope that she’s understanding.
© 2010, Big Daddy. All rights reserved.
K FLoortime Lite
November 17th, 2010 at 8:55 am #
My two favorites in the same place over a big cup of Sumatra
Its gonna be a lovely day
Lynn I loved your piece a couple of months ago on this topic
The sheer amount of stuff in the cyberspace ensures anonymity I think
Personally I took your advice to heart that when R gets to the point of caring about what his peers think – my blog will come down “faster than a prom dress” LOL
Stimey
November 17th, 2010 at 10:15 am #
I have so much to say about this. I might actually have to write my own post.
But in a nutshell:
1. Future Jean is on her own. F*ck her. That b*tch Past Jean didn’t help me out, so Current Jean is looking out for #1.
2. I always write as if the person I am writing about is reading over my shoulder. My test isn’t if they are okay with what I am writing, but if I would say it in front of them (because you never know who will find your words). And with my kids, I try to respect what they would want said about them.
3. I think having a picture of you as a whole person will be great when your kids grow up. As someone whose father died when she was very young, I would sell body parts to have this kind of record of his life. Or my mother’s life even, and she’s still around.
4. My blog is a love letter to my kids. I think they’ll see that.
5. I’m hoping my blog will give Jack some insight into who he was as a child with autism. Maybe that will help him as an adult with autism.
6. I really DO need to write a post.
Ann
November 17th, 2010 at 10:17 am #
There has been recent press about when the stars of mommy blogs grow up. Some kids were ok, some weren’t. It isn’t a risk I want to take — my children deserve some control over their lives. Shaming them in public is not something I want to do. Even if it doesn’t seem so bad.
Maybe it seems ok now because your child is so young…but I have older children, and even a simple photograph can bother them.
It’s all a matter of who matters the most. You, or your child. Do you respect your child or not? Do you have integrity or not? What purpose does it serve to put your child out there without the child having informed consent? This isn’t like making medical or educational decisions.
Worse, since autism leads to so many social problems, why intentionally harm your child’s social life? Why make them even more of a pariah then they may be in middle school and later? Especially since it seems you have no qualms with your child’s behavior in public, and the example your blog sets shows that you have no filter yourself.
It is at best, thoughtless. At worst, you can cause your child’s social life and self esteem some hard core damage, even if she were neurotypical. What rationale do you have for abusing your child like this? Need for attention? Or an inability yourself to understand social rules in our society?
Autism Mom Rising
November 17th, 2010 at 10:29 am #
Who among is is embarrassed by anything we did as a child once we become an adult? Not one. We even tell those funny stories ourselves!
Besides this generation, for good or ill, will have grown up living in public that they will be used to stuff like this being “out there”, in ways we cannot imagine. This all seeems a bit weird to us because we didn’t grow up with it, but it won’t to them.
I’m more concerned about us….will we ever be able to get a damn job again once HR people Google our names???!!
jen
November 17th, 2010 at 10:31 am #
I love how open you are. I am pretty much the same way. Real names on my blog, and, heck, my twitter handle is my real name even. I like feeling as though I kinda know other Autism moms (and dads!) And that they kinda sorta want to know me. There isn’t a ton pf support or people who really get in, irl, so I love having my online friends. So don’t feel bad about being you and being out there. I would miss it if you weren’t!
Laura
November 17th, 2010 at 10:31 am #
Ann,
It would seem you’re the one at a loss for understanding social rules. If you blog, and choose not to reveal the identity of yourself or your child that’s your prerogative.
Coming here and accusing some one of child abuse is rude, reckless, and irresponsible on YOUR part. Lynn has pretty lucidly laid out that she understands the potential consequences of her actions, and in prior posts has stated that if it came to a point where harm were being done, she would bring the blog down. Then there’s this blatantly personal attack,
“Especially since it seems you have no qualms with your child’s behavior in public, and the example your blog sets shows that you have no filter yourself.”
I’m not sure what you’re beef is, but this surely isn’t the forum for airing it. As for making the child “more of a pariah”… I can’t speak for your child, but my children (both autistic) aren’t pariahs at all.
Perhaps instead of berating others about the speck of dust in their eyes, you should look in the mirror and pull the plank from your own.
Barbara
November 17th, 2010 at 10:41 am #
I think it is tough to predict future attitudes based on current behavior. I could not think of a current analogy for hindsight – finding the diary of your mother? Not quite the same, but…
Open identity provides a measure of self-restraint while anonymity comes with the temptation to be more bold.
I suspect that whichever way you choose, your true self will be evident.
As we say in child development – ‘natural consequences’.
PS BD, thanks for sharing Griffin here.
Ashley
November 17th, 2010 at 10:56 am #
I use nicknames, but I think my family and a few very kind blogger friends are the only ones who actually read my blog anyway. And that’s totally fine because it’s my something I do for me. ‘Cause I’m too lazy to use a pen and paper. My biggest problem will end up being that my kids will humiliated by the nicknames I’m using. But they need *something* to talk to their therapists about. =)
Looking forward to reading more here at Big Daddy’s!
Big Daddy
November 17th, 2010 at 11:04 am #
@Laura: Yay Laura.
@Ann: What Laura said.
Lynn
November 17th, 2010 at 11:20 am #
Ann: I started my blog as a way to establish an audience for a book that I wrote, which I’m sure you also would disapprove of because it is as open as my blog. I have no particular desire for attention, but did have naive dreams of getting published, making billions of dollars, and setting my daughter up for life. If this happened, I figured the tradeoff would be worth it. As it’s become clearer to me that this is unlikely to happen, I’ve started having the qualms that I mention in this post.
Blogging was never meant to be a long-term endeavor for me…I wanted to see if I could make this dream come true, but if not then it would be back to reality and I would have to get a real paying gig to support my daughter. I always have known that the blog would not be around by the time Audrey hit her middle school years.
I can’t think of anything shameful that I’ve blogged about. Things that might embarrass Audrey later in life? Yes, but that bar is pretty low for kids. Things that we should be ashamed of? No.
Literally every single thing that I do in my life is for my daughter. I didn’t think that anyone who read my blog would doubt my boundless love and respect for her. I feel confident that Audrey will have no problem with the blog later in life, and that’s a call that I’ve made as a parent. My only concern was schoolmates that might see it and use it against her, but like I said, the blog won’t be around by that time.
I think that categorizing this as child abuse clearly minimizes the very real child abuse that so many of our kids suffer.
@Ann: Thanks so much.
Lynn
November 17th, 2010 at 11:22 am #
I mean @Laura: Thanks so much!!!
Big Daddy
November 17th, 2010 at 11:42 am #
I think I am most bothered by the thought of Ann considering Griffin and Audrey “pariahs” because they are autistic and the cute things they’ve done and said have been made public or semi-public.
Before I started this blog, after considerable deliberation, I chose to remain quasi-ananonymous BUT not because Griffin may be embarrassed by it later in life. Actually, almost all our friends, family and the people in Griff’s life know who we are. Contrary to harming him, it has caused an outpouring of love and positive attention.
I feel Griffin is a gift that must be shared with the world. So far, the more people who learn about him, the better his life has become.
Griffin has never read the blog. Not because I don’t allow him. Rather, he doesn’t understand it. He knows about the blog and loves the attention it gets him. Every day he is excited to see me writing on “his” blog.
How our kids turn out is a crap shoot. Ann mentions studies and the blog stars who grow up poorly. Specifically she says,
“Some kids were ok, some weren’t.”
Doesn’t that describe every single child? Blog star or not? Some kids grow up ok, some don’t.
I see nothing wrong with Lynn (or me) blogging about our children. I will continue to share Griffin with the world an I will look forward to reading about Audrey for as long as Lynn writes about her.
Christine
November 17th, 2010 at 11:44 am #
Lynn, I love your blog. I love your honesty and humor. As a mom with a child on the spectrum, I find it so helpful to read blogs like yours. I know they help me to be a better mom to my daughter. I blog about my daughter as well. I think it’s so important to be open and honest and get the truth out there about autism…it’s one of the most important things we can do for the future of our children. That being said I know that I (and I think most other mommy bloggers) constantly consider my kids’ feelings when writing about them. I always consider the impact that my words could have now or in the future. Having a 13 year old daughter, I’m well aware of how easily kids can get embarrassed.
Thank you Lynn, for what you’re doing.
ERICA
November 17th, 2010 at 12:02 pm #
Wow! I didn’t realize that this was going to be so controversial when I read the post. Then, I read some of the comments!
Lynn~ I sincerely appreciate the honesty and openness of your blog. When I started my blog about my 12 year old son, I told him what I wanted to do and asked him if he was okay with that. He said yes. I originally started it so that our friends and family could stay updated. It was way too much information to put on Facebook at one time.
When I post a picture(s) of my son, I make sure that he’s okay with the picture. Even if he looks silly in the picture, he doesn’t mind. He loves to be silly and he doesn’t hide it from anyone.
If, at some time in the future, he changes his mind then I will delete the blog and start over from scratch anonymously.
Laura
November 17th, 2010 at 12:06 pm #
“Shaming them in public…” That’s getting my dander up.
I can’t think of a single thing any of us has written that would qualify as “shaming” our children.
I think, like Big D said, at least in our case being ourselves online has fostered an understanding of us in the community that otherwise might not have happened. Both of my kids not only know I blog, but they read it too. In fact, when they or do something that makes me giggle they ask, “Are you gonna blog that?” They like it! Like everyone else, I am uber mindful of what I write in an effort to protect their privacy, but if we lock autism away, as we’ve done for centuries, and don’t talk about it…GOOD AND BAD…how are we ever going to gain understanding and acceptance for our kids? HOW?!
AmyLK
November 17th, 2010 at 12:18 pm #
Of course she will understand! We mom’s need our space to vent and cry. But you do have to worry about the crazies out in the big bad world.
jillsmo
November 17th, 2010 at 12:24 pm #
Y’know, I was all excited about my friend blogging on my other friend’s blog today, but now Ann has gone and f*cked it all up. Notice that she has a blog but we don’t get to see it. I hate cowards.
Lynn rules! Ann, do you want to come to my blog and judge me? I don’t censor myself over there: http://yeahgoodtimes.blogspot.com/
Hattie
November 17th, 2010 at 12:29 pm #
I am really saddened by Ann’s comment actually. It is much more like the sort of polemic I am used to reading in the Italian autistic blogosphere where this sort of extremist opinion has pretty much closed down operations. When you start throwing out personal accusations and fear mongering in a niche in the blogosphere in the way that Ann does above what happens is that people stop writing and more importantly reading. It is an end rather than a beginning if you like. It leads to closure, secrecy, turning in and in my experience of it here in Italy people return to feeling isolation and perhaps on some level shame about their situation, having fewer outlets to express and share information and experiences together in a SAFE place. Or worse still bloggers keep writing but stop communicating honestly for fear of what others may think. Yuk. As parents in real life we are already under enormous pressure to conform and have our children conform to a whole load of social niceties that frankly have nothing to do with living useful lives and everything to do with “fitting in”. Sharing ourselves and daring to bare our souls to one another through our blogs despite our knowledge of the varied and possible consequences is the biggest gift we can give to ourselves and those around us in my opinion. Think of the amazing gift Temple Grandin has given the world by daring and caring enough to intimitely share her autistic self through her writing and tireless advocacy work. Blogs can promote and enhance awareness, talking, laughing, relaxing around difficult issues and giving our children the chance to know us for who we really are. To me these things are what make humans noble. Ann, my unsolicited advice to you would be to turn off your computer and only read blogs you like. I know I do!
Tweets that mention Big Daddy Autism » Blog Archive » Guest Post! -- Topsy.com
November 17th, 2010 at 1:07 pm #
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by jillsmo, Lynn Hudoba. Lynn Hudoba said: I'm guest blogging today at Big Daddy Autism…check it out y'all! http://bit.ly/9knByf #autism #specialneeds #ASD [...]
Dee
November 17th, 2010 at 1:07 pm #
Boy, I hope nobody listens to people like Ann. Some of the funny Blog posts help to keep me sane…
I don’t hide my son or his problems. Never have. In pre-blog days a whole full page newspaper article in Wichita was written about my son. It helped at least 2 other families realize that their child had autism and where to go for help. We are a community. People are on this earth to help each other.
My son as an adult does not want to “become famous” so I am very careful about using his pics on my OZMO website. But, he freely tells anyone he meets that he has been in a psych hospital 4 times, that he loves girls, etc… our love for our kids needs to pretty much be our guide.
Elizabeth
November 17th, 2010 at 1:08 pm #
I find it difficult and even irritating when people don’t use real names on their blogs (except for Big Daddy, of course), especially when they talk about multiple children and husbands or wives with weird names. I respect the whole privacy notion, but I’ll often stop reading them because of that. I’m shamelessly not private — except for The Husband.
Big Daddy
November 17th, 2010 at 1:21 pm #
Dee: That just reminded me, I have published several articles about Griffin under my real name. The world has ended!
Big Daddy
November 17th, 2010 at 1:38 pm #
Laura: Who says you wouldn’t be a good shovel ready friend?
sherri/the claw
November 17th, 2010 at 1:55 pm #
Ann- you make my butt itch.
Lynn- great guest post. love you. and your blog.
Dani G
November 17th, 2010 at 2:07 pm #
I get it. We get it. Ann is not one of “us”. We are sharing our stories for us, for others who aren’t familiar with our struggles, but might be open and compassion to learning about them. Ann is not one of them, either.
We will always be up against some Anns, but if you stop and take a look at ALL the comments, we’ll see that there’s only one Ann and a whole lot more of “us”.
Enough about Ann, more about me… The reason I don’t give my daughter’s name is because it’s a very uncommon name and we’d be pretty easy to find. Like Lynn, my daughter and I don’t have the exact same last name, though we do share an initial (or two). I don’t AT ALL worry about what she will think- she’ll see the very strong mommy working her ass off for her well-being. I care about freaks who might do something, well, freaky.
Plus, I really DO call her Little Bird in our for real life!
Laura
November 17th, 2010 at 2:09 pm #
Lynn, I enjoy reading your blog because your honesty and openness makes you relateable. Your sense of humor cracks me up on a daily basis and reminds me not to take life too seriously.
I think everyone who blogs goes through the questioning process that you’re going through – how much anonymity to have, how long to keep blogging, how much to put out there… I think as long as you continually question this, your blog is going to continue to be as wonderful as it is now.
Laura
November 17th, 2010 at 2:14 pm #
um….Big Daddy… you did! ;-D
Stuart Duncan
November 17th, 2010 at 2:17 pm #
I have so much to say on this subject, I had a huge reply written but deleted it. It was becoming a blog post of it’s own.
I am honest and sincere in everything I do and my son is as well, and I hope he continues to be. I don’t have a personal blog to chit chat about any random thing, I have a blog to share stories and experiences about Autism.
And something as important as Autism deserves that level of honesty.
That being said, I do understand why some choose to change their names. There are a lot of very good reasons for doing so and I would never question nor judge anyone for it.
We write to inspire, motivate, educate, engage… there is nothing to be ashamed of. I know that so long as I do my best, my son will be proud, not embarrassed.
My son is amazing and anyone who reads about him will agree with that.
Cheryl D.
November 17th, 2010 at 2:25 pm #
Another great post, Lynn (if that’s actually your real name). This is an issue my husband and I are constantly debating. We keep our info relatively anonymous, but my husband freaked last week when it was my SITS Day. He hated that I had pictures of us on their site. I don’t think he realized that my picture is on my blog anyway. He’s worried that our daughter will find out about her autism through my blog when she’s older. It’s worrisome. I really try to not blog about the worse things, just the cutesy things or the internal struggles I’m having.
Oh, and I want to congratulate you for hitting the big time! You’ve gotten your first negative comment. You’ve arrived. Congrats!
JoyMama
November 17th, 2010 at 3:12 pm #
Woo hoo, nothin’ like a little controversy to drive the comment numbers up!
Obviously I’m on the pseudonym side of things, but part of me wonders: with the way Facebook and other real-name social media are going, and the abandon with which today’s adolescents and young adults throw their online privacy to the winds — in another 10 years, full online real-name disclosure may feel utterly normal and the kids we’re writing about today won’t bat an eye.
Or maybe not. So I keep my pseudonym and my own rules about what I will & won’t blog about, just in case. And hope it doesn’t drive away too many Elizabeths.
Lynn, I find it hard to believe that you’ve only been blogging since April!! How quickly the good ones become part of our lives…
Kim
November 17th, 2010 at 3:20 pm #
My kids love to see themselves on the computer screen right now and I’ve never thought farther than that b/c I have such a small blog! But you’ve said this so well . . . I better start thinking.
Kim
November 17th, 2010 at 3:24 pm #
Also? Isn’t Ann ‘continuing’ to *publicly shame* your/our children by reading these blogs?? And I’m sorry, but pariarah?? Uhm, NO. I think Ann needs to get some education.
Blogging about our children, use their real names or a pseudonym for privacy? | Stuart Duncan
November 17th, 2010 at 3:46 pm #
[...] Read the blog post here: http://bigdaddyautism.com/?p=1207 [...]
ibeeeg
November 17th, 2010 at 4:08 pm #
I have older children, and kept a website when they were younger…that was when there was no such thing as blogging or at least I did not know about it.
Anyway, I was open on the website, and guess what…it is no longer online and not by purposeful intent on my part, it just came down. No repercussions for the children at all. Actually, I don’t think anyone really searches out the children online except for the circle of friends and they have facebook, and all that….they are use to this stuff.
If a child was to search out my children to find “dirt” to use against them well, guess what, they will come up with something if not on the blog then elsewhere no matter what because that was their original intent. In other words, I cannot worry about something that has not occurred, and may not. I can be respectful to my child and talk about true and honest things without being hurtful towards them. I do believe that Lynn your blog is not at all hurtful towards Audrey…not at all. It is truth, and what life is at this time.
So, I am not one who is too terribly worried about present me vs future me. I think we are too hyper worried about current us vs future us. we are too worried about protecting our children…not saying that protecting is not correct, but overworried about it is troublesome.
I do use “nicknames, but that is because I am blogging with a current 13 and 15 year old girls under our roof. They want it that way; I respect that. However, they don’t bark at me over their past exposure nor do they demand I take the past posts off the blog.
I do appreciate your frankness Lynn. That is what makes your blog very appealing. Also, I bet your book would be fabulous.
Cathy
November 17th, 2010 at 5:06 pm #
My goodness! I feel like I’ve just been on one of those amusement park rides where it starts out calm and happy and all-at-once you’re upside down and screaming but by the end you just want another turn to go round again! Phew!
I’ve only been blogging since September and I guess I’ve remained semi-anonymous. I use my children’s real names, Alex and Hannah, for two reasons. First, I write from my heart, I don’t write anything I wouldn’t share in public or in front of them. And I just have trouble writing authentically if I have to remember the new name of my first-born child or whatever. My brain doesn’t work that way. Whoops. Second, my kids’ names are two of the most popular anyway. There are 3 kids with my son’s name- first and last- who go to the same pediatrician. Oh well.
That being said, as a licensed social worker who intricately understands and deals with confidentiality issues every day, I think that perhaps all the pros and cons on this subject aren’t the real important things to think about here. It’s not what we say, it’s who we are. It’s how we creatively communicate with our kids, both typical and autistic. Arguing about the way someone else chooses to write isn’t really the point, in my humble opinion.
I know that communicating with Alex is challenging. Still, I try to take each situation- no matter how confusing, upsetting, life-changing- and be there, ready and open for discussion- in whatever form it takes. Right now, my children are little. They love to see pictures of themselves online. They love that mommy writes. Alex has a whole slew of youtube marble machine videos up online. Should they change their minds about how cool this is at any point in the future, I’ll change right along with them. I’ll be honest about the writing, the feelings, the situation, why I write- and I’ll listen to them just as intently. Just as I do today!
To be respectful of our children means to be present in the moment and be who we are and do what we feel is right at that time- not to follow someone else’s rules or to anticipate a terrible consequence that doesn’t yet exist. I want my kids to grow up to be their own wonderful people with their own opinions. And I am confident that if I am always honest with them, and I show them through my actions how much love and respect I have for them, we will be able to get through whatever life throws at us, together as a family.
I write because I love. I hope one day Hannah and Alex will write about me! And I most likely will have more to say about this… it’ll be up on my blog. My name’s Cathy
Amanda Broadfoot
November 17th, 2010 at 5:28 pm #
As another mom of an autistic child who blogs and blogs openly, using real names, I have a lot to say on this subject.
First, I totally respect the right of parents to be as private as they want about their stories and their children. I understand it, and I think if that’s what works for you, go for it.
That being said, we are totally open in our house about autism. I will never pretend to my son that he isn’t autistic or that he hasn’t had certain challenges.
I will also never pretend that *I* haven’t been a complete social f-up most of my life as well. Hopefully, together, we’ll (and by “we,” I mean all of us in this community) find a place in this world that’s not based on a shallow idea of what is socially “normal,” but instead, upon making real connections with people who honestly understand us.
Too long, people with intellectual and neurological difficulties have hoped, at best, for a life spent trying to “pass,” which has some horrible historical connotations to it.
I hope for something better for my son. I hope for him to live in a world of UNDERSTANDING. I hope for him to function in a society where he is surrounded by people who don’t expect him to “pass,” but instead embrace him for who he is, quirks and all. Those who choose to reject him because he couldn’t master pronouns when he was 4 years old are clearly not worth our time anyway.
I speak to give my son pride in who he is. I tell his stories because he is wonderful, unique and fascinating.
Lynn is a heroic mom — though she’d hate to hear herself called that — and she is the mother to a daughter who gives a beautiful face to what it means to be autistic.
@jencull (Jen)
November 17th, 2010 at 5:39 pm #
I am offended that anyone would consider a child with autism a social pariah. Really, I am. Also, the accusation of child abuse is madness. That shows a complete lack of understanding, imo. Guess I will stick with reading great blogs like this one and Lynns and keep sharing my own experiences (with nicknames) and worry about the future IN the future. None of us knows how anything will work out so we do what we can in the present. Jen
Erin
November 17th, 2010 at 6:30 pm #
This is my first time commenting on either of your blogs, but I really enjoy following both of them. I would still follow both whether you were using pseudonymns or not. The humor and honesty expressed in both always brighten my day, especially when my four year old recently diagnosed son is driving me nuts. I think it’s great all of you share your experiences of raising a child with autism, it helps all of us newbies not feel so alone, and also helps spread ideas on how to work with our own children. Thanks!!
Jen S*
November 17th, 2010 at 7:14 pm #
I am always so surprised when some people troll other people’s blogs to pick a fight. Who gives a rat’s shit what trolls think?
DeeAnn Lancaster
November 17th, 2010 at 9:00 pm #
You two are great bloggers. I love reading your posts. Look at all the comments! You should pair up more often.
Irene
November 17th, 2010 at 9:02 pm #
I’m calling DYFS right now!
Lynn
November 17th, 2010 at 9:54 pm #
Thanks to everyone for their comments today. There is an interesting debate to be had on this, and I’m glad that my friends are able to have it in a respectful and civil way. I look forward to reading any followup posts that are written on the topic. On a personal note, thanks for the kind and supportive comments about me and my blog…I really appreciate it.
And with that, I think that I will be retiring from guest blogging
jillsmo
November 17th, 2010 at 11:28 pm #
Not so fast, sister
Big Daddy
November 18th, 2010 at 12:15 am #
Erin: It gets easier. I’m not saying Griffin has gotten “easier” it’s just, over time we’ve learn to accept and adapt so our life with Griffin has gotten easier. I am glad this blog helps brighten your day.
Big Daddy
November 18th, 2010 at 12:16 am #
To everyone (minus one) who commented today and made Lynn’s guest post an exciting day at Big Daddy, thanks.
Aimee
November 18th, 2010 at 12:37 am #
Jeez I spend one day traveling and get back to this?!
Ann, I think it would be covered by most health plans….having that giant stick removed.
I joke, or my filter is on the fritz, I’m not really sure.
Actually I’m glad you mixed things up a bit. Your comments are very interesting. I don’t agree with any of them though. I love reading Lynns blog and I’m also a huge fan of Big Daddy A. I hope they never stop being so open and honest and reminding me every day how unique and awesome our kids are.
Tina F.
November 18th, 2010 at 2:59 am #
Yo! Pariah Woman! Chill!! Go stare at your own ‘simple photograph’ or breastfeed your 16 year old or something. Just do something productive, why don’t ya? You have a lot of time on your hands for uninformed judgments anyway.
I haven’t followed Lynn nor Big Daddy Autism until now though I see them on Jillsmo blog a lot, and after reading the exciting turn of events, I came in to join the fun. Because just like you, I’m also an attention whore. The only difference is, my name’s really Tina and *gasp* I’ve got a blog too!
Now hop on over here and host a judging party!
http://www.theteethingmom.com
kathleen
November 18th, 2010 at 10:59 am #
I let my kids read what I write…and it isn’t as anonymous as people think..recently I wrote a post about Oscar and his aid…I had people in town question me….sigh
tulpen
November 18th, 2010 at 2:59 pm #
All those reasons? Pretty much the same ones that made me ditch the old blog and start the new, sorta anonymous one.
Am DYING to know Big Daddy’s real name.
Percival?
Gaylord?
Horace?
Come on!!!
Autism Mom Rising
November 18th, 2010 at 3:55 pm #
“Shaming the kids in public”? Huh?!! Embedded in our culture is this appreciation of “bleep” my kid does humor. So basically it is okay for parents of neurotypical kids to tell funny stories about their kids but not parents of special needs kids. If we do it we are somehow “shaming” them. Look here, my kid is just as funny and adorable as any NT kid, even when the funny things he does are informed by his disability. Autism is part of who he is and who he is is wonderful, and funny and, as Big Daddy says, should be shared.
My kid would not be embarrassed by my mentioning anything he does, even if that thing were informed by his condition. As I said, it is who he is. What would humiliate him is if I talked about what he couldn’t do, or something he struggled with, whether that were due to his condition or not. How do I know this? I know my son. So I never, ever write about those things.
… to pseudonym or not to pseudonym? « Autism Home Rescue
November 18th, 2010 at 5:15 pm #
[...] latest big discussion about confidentiality and using pseudonyms happened here at Big Daddy Autism. Big Daddy turned his blog over to Autism Army Mom for a post and the [...]
Jessica
November 19th, 2010 at 8:04 am #
Wow, first time visiting Big Daddy, didn’t know there was such controversy over here. I’m not awake enough for this whole conversation right now so I have nothing deep to say, just that I do have a child with autism who is old enough to read and clicks on my blog once in a while.
For that, I have had to scale back my autism posts and my honesty which sucks for me because it is very therapuetic but we have taught her about her autism as she has grown up and that her stories and that fact that she has overcome so much can be an example for other people. Now, if I want to do an autism post she gets to read it and give it the “ok” first and she is almost always okay with it and it gives us something to talk about.
Love the post as always Lynn, keep on doing what you are doing, including guest blogging, I was hoping you could be my guest one of these days!
KempMayra18
December 20th, 2010 at 2:28 am #
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