Birth Story 2 – The Prequel
In late 1996, a few months after our wedding, Mrs. Big Daddy’s grandpa’s health began to fail. Her grandparents lived in a double wide in a small town on the other side of Florida. That autumn and winter, we took several trips to spend some time with him before he passed.
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Did I mention that they lived in a trailer in a really small town? Not surprisingly, lodging options were limited, so we always checked into the same Best Western several miles north whenever we visited.
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The theme of this particular gem in the Best Western chain was “Tahiti”. There were Tiki Huts with fake grass roofs by the pool and plastic South Pacific artifacts all over the motel grounds. The rooms themselves were standard $39.99 per night motel fare. I guess Best Western thought they needed a gimmick to distinguish this location from all the other motels in the area. (Actually there was only one other motel within 20 miles.) Offering a free continental breakfast, or adding a small fitness center, may have been better long term business moves. But the cheap 1970s Brady Bunch Kitsch was kind of fun, in a way. Most importantly, the price was right.
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Without going into graphic detail, being newlyweds, we made the most of our trips to the Tahitian Best Western that winter. On one of our excursions, we noticed something a bit odd when exiting our room in the morning.
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Glimmering in the early morning sun was a dew-covered, three foot tall, faux wooden figure in the garden area right outside our room. The statue was made to appear as though it was carved out of a piece of firewood standing vertically end to end. It had a flat head and was virtually all face. The plaque underneath it described our new friend as Lono-Makua, the Tahitian Fertility God. We were speechless. Maybe we were just unobservant, but we didn’t notice our sacred companion on prior stays, and we definitely did not see him upon check-in the previous night.
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My first thought was that this idol must be a horrifying sight for the hormone fueled high school senior who takes his date to this motel on prom night. Although I am not superstitious, nor am I particularly religious, my second thought was that Mr. Makua was facing the door to our room last night which might mean the end of our baby making attempts for a while. We condescendingly patted him on the cranium, took a picture, made a joke of it, and went to visit her grandpa in the hospital.
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Maybe it was Lono’s way of getting back at us for mocking him, or maybe it was just coincidence, but, as you probably already guessed, several weeks later the pregnancy test came back positive and Griffin was on his way into the world. Shortly before he passed away, we were able to tell her grandpa that Mrs. BD was pregnant.
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Sometimes I think the gods must be smiling at what they have created. In honor of both Mrs. BD’s grandpa and Lono, the picture of the God of Fertility is prominently taped onto the first page of Griffin’s Baby Book.
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© 2011, Big Daddy. All rights reserved.
Lynn
February 11th, 2011 at 8:55 am #
This is like being forced to think about my parents having sex. Ew. Please don’t turn conception stories into a blog hop. Although mine is pretty good. But everyone else’s? Gross.
Laura
February 11th, 2011 at 9:49 am #
I like that story! How sweet that you taped the pic to the baby book.
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Aimee
February 11th, 2011 at 10:46 am #
I like this story! And I don’t know why, but now I really want to hear Lynns conception story too. Is there something wrong with me?
Grace
February 11th, 2011 at 10:58 am #
I finish reading this story, and I’m all like “Awwww!! How sweet!!” and feeling all sentimental. . .then I read Lynn’s comment and it snapped me right back to my senses. Thank you for the verbal bitchslap, Lynn, I needed that.
Dawn
February 11th, 2011 at 11:17 am #
aha! your mancave is really just a front for your scrapbooking room! I’m onto you!
Bubbe
February 11th, 2011 at 12:11 pm #
Lono-Makua could be your book cover, too. Or if you start using avatars instead of hand-drawn cartoons, he could represent Griffin. It could represent something else, given that it’s carved from wood, but bubbes aren’t crass.
Big Daddy
February 11th, 2011 at 12:29 pm #
@Lynn: You should contact Animal Planet. I’m sure they would jump at the chance to be the first network to air a special on the mating habits of the North American Sasquatch.
@Laura: I’m nothing if not “sweet”. And fat.
@Aimee: Yes.
@Grace: You should have read the version Mrs. BD didn’t let me post.
@Dawn: Guilty?
@Bubbe: Did I mention that Lono was over 3 feet long?
K Floortime lite mama
February 11th, 2011 at 1:02 pm #
you must be so tired of hearing me say
OMG tooo funny
But I must say it again
OMG tooo funny
AmyLK
February 11th, 2011 at 1:30 pm #
Too Funny! Love that the picture made it to the baby book!
Jen
February 11th, 2011 at 4:53 pm #
I love the serious side of BD. You’re really a sentimental guy, aren’t you?
Dani G
February 11th, 2011 at 8:34 pm #
Hey, where’s the kinky linky to post ALL of our conception stories??
tulpen
February 11th, 2011 at 11:49 pm #
I got knocked up with Owen because a ‘Psychic’ told me I’d never conceive. Husband took issue with that, and proved him wrong.
Jen
February 12th, 2011 at 12:41 am #
We should totally do a conception story blog hop. Mine is really great. *Damn you Trojan Man…Damn you*.
kathleen
February 12th, 2011 at 5:46 pm #
That was really lovely…you’re scaring me.
Diane
February 13th, 2011 at 11:22 am #
That story’s a keeper
Thanks for sharing.
@jencull
February 14th, 2011 at 12:17 pm #
hehehe, typical eh? My sister brought my husband back a fertility idol thingy and I nearly kicked her out of the house for it. I am just biding my time until I can throw it out, unnoticed. I will use this story as part of my ‘evidence’
Jen