Straw Man
Griffin is more obsessed with talking about his own health than Richard Simmons and Jack LaLanne combined. The thing he is, he is all talk and no exercise or dietary restraint. Irrespective, he takes his health seriously. A great example of this is a recent father-son outing to Steak –n- Shake, that bastion of healthy eating!
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The milkshakes had arrived and the food was on the on the way. So, all was good with Big Daddy and Griffin. Then it happened. He started to panic and blurted;
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“I will not die! I will not die! I will not die! I will not die! I will not die!”
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Since milkshakes are a regular part of his diet, I was surprised that he would, all of sudden, be concerned with cholesterol or triglycerides. But no. Once there was a brief break in the hysteria, I ascertained that his fear of immediate death was brought upon by getting a tiny piece of the straw wrapper in his mouth.
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Yup, the kid who eats Doritos by the case and used to dine on dirt, was now convinced his time in this world was about to end because a miniscule piece of paper touched the inside of his mouth. Though I was able to calm him down a bit, he spent the next several days wiping his tongue ferociously.
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I’m still not altogether convinced that he believes he is out of the woods from the accidental straw wrapper consumption. We are monitoring the situation closely.
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© 2012, Big Daddy. All rights reserved.
Sanstrousers
December 27th, 2012 at 8:23 pm #
Was he able to enjoy his milkshake, at least?!
Suzanne B.
December 27th, 2012 at 9:52 pm #
That’s how I feel when the odd gnat makes its way into my mouth! Poor kid.
Jon Gilbert
December 30th, 2012 at 3:39 am #
Wow, great tale! Our son is such a blast to be around. When moments like these happen to us, we smile a little brighter. My wife and I were talking with a mom today who also has a child on the spectrum, and we all find it interesting that the tiniest of things make us appreciate our children so much more…things that parents of neurotypicals would just shrug off as irritating or inconsequential.
First time I’ve been by your blog. Funny stuff!