Hold Hands
I was recently hospitalized. Nothing unusual about that. My stays at these lovely places are so common place that the family has fallen into a comfortable routine whenever I go. This is good because Griffin is deathly fearful of Emergency Rooms. He believes that even talking about one will somehow impede on his self-determined life expectancy of 93 years. Even if it is me, not him, visiting the ER.
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So our hospital routine usually involves Mrs. Big Daddy swinging the car in front of the ER and slowing down just enough so I can roll out and into triage. She then occupies the kids until I am admitted to a real room and they come visit. Griffin clearly does not enjoy these visits, but he tolerates them better than the ER.
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On my recent visit, the ER was really crowded and it took over 12 hours for me to push through and get admitted to the ICU. Yay overcrowded ERs!! Maybe due to the vomiting and pain I suffered, I forgot my phone when we set off from home. I have a hospital-to-go bag always packed and ready. But my phone is usually the last to be stowed since I use it every day.
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Mrs. Big Daddy had no way to get updates on my status and became concerned. (She’s sweet like that.) So, over Griffin’s strenuous objections, the family needed to come meet me while I was still in my tiny ER cubicle.
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When they arrived, Griffin went straight to a chair in the corner to ride out the visit. Mrs. Big Daddy and Lil Sis quickly got the low down and prepared to leave. As they were going, I knew I’d be lucky to even get a grunted, “Bye” from Griffin, but I reached out my hand for Lil Sis to hold. Just to let her know I was okay, but mainly because I like holding her hand.
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As my hand was outstretched, before Lil Sis’ warm little hand could reach it, I felt a big sweaty, clammy, floppy, dead fish of a hand plop down in mine. Unbeknownst to me, Griffin had darted across the room and wanted to be a part of the hand holding. It seemed like his way of letting me know that he was scared – not just for his own life expectancy but also for my well-being.
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Lil Sis joined the hand holding and for about 10 seconds, I felt as though I was not ill and could just walk out the door with them, hand in hand in hand. But they left and I stayed.
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I didn’t wipe Griffin’s sweat off my hand for hours. But, unrelated to the hand holding, I did go back to vomiting and writhing in pain fairly soon after they departed. It wasn’t quite as unpleasant as before the hand holding, though.
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© 2013, Big Daddy. All rights reserved.
Papa Bear
January 17th, 2013 at 1:47 pm #
Awww…
Geovana
January 17th, 2013 at 3:12 pm #
I hope you are feeling better, good thoughts going your way! Griffin is a sweetheart!
Darrell
January 17th, 2013 at 3:58 pm #
My son is also Autistic. The other night I came home late and went to lay down in the bed with him. I was talking to him and I told him I missed him. Without missing a beat he rolled over, looked me in the eyes and said “I missed you Daddy”. That is the first time he had ever done anything like that, especially unprompted. Your hand holding story brought a tear to my eye, because I get it.
cathy
January 18th, 2013 at 11:12 am #
Awww… hope you’re feeling better soon! I totally get how amazing those moments are. Our family is sending good thoughts to all of you guys– especially from Alex & me to Griffin & you!
Sharon from Mamas Turn Now
January 18th, 2013 at 12:43 pm #
Hope you are feeling better. Glad to see even when you are vomiting and in pain you keep that wonderful sense of humor we love! Take care of yourself Big Daddy… we want to keep you around for awhile and I am sure Mrs. Big Daddy, lil Sis and your hand holding buddy feel the same way!
Frango Mint
January 20th, 2013 at 11:55 pm #
Geez I hope you are OK! The flu?? Yikes. Get well, please! Your family needs you, nay, AMERICA needs you as a source of funny.
Jacquie
January 21st, 2013 at 4:37 pm #
Hey Big Daddy!
Hoping you’re feeling better and sending some good vibes your way. And just think, I don’t want a ride to the mall or pizza even!
Take it easy (I know you will), and get better soon.
Karen V.
January 28th, 2013 at 3:34 pm #
A to-go bag? (sigh) This makes my heart sad. Sending you lots of prayers and hugs along with extras for Griff and the family NOT to have to dump your rear at the ER again! xoxo