Big Daddy Autism

Since Griffin is approaching fifteen years of age, Mrs. Big Daddy and I have been leaving him alone in the house for a few minutes at a time every now and again.  He is an excellent rule follower and, usually, when we return, he is right where we left him – watching elevator videos or classic Wilford Brimley Liberty Medical commercials on You Tube.

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As you, my dear and loyal readers know, Friday is Pizza Night at Casa de Big Daddy.  It is, far and away, Griffin’s and Big Daddy’s favorite night of the week.  One recent Friday, immediately after Mrs. Big Daddy made the call for delivery, the need for both adults and Lil Sis to leave the house for a short time arose.  The details of our simultaneous errands are irrelevant, although the end result was Griffin alone in the house while the pizza delivery guy was set to arrive in 30 – 40 minutes.

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I was certain to be back home in time, however, while I was out and about, I couldn’t help notice how much our present circumstances resembled Schrödinger’s Cat Thought Experiment / Paradox.  Yeah that’s how my mind works.

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Griffin is strict about the “no answering the door no matter what rule.”  But he also loves pizza.  Also, Griffin is completely clueless about the concept of money and the fact that the pizza delivery guy would be expecting some before turning over the goods.  I am also fairly certain, the pizza deliver guy would be just as clueless about the concept (and reality) of Griffin as Griffin is of the concept (and reality) that food costs money.

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In Schrödinger’s much simpler experiment, the cat in the box was both alive and dead at the same time in the absence of an observer.  Likewise, with no observer (i.e. adult) present in Casa de Big Daddy, as long as both Mrs. Big Daddy and I were on our errands, the pizza had both been delivered and not been delivered.   (If anyone is confused at this point, Google Schrödinger and you are certain to become even more confused.)

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It was only when Schrödinger opened his box that he would be able to tell if the cat was dead or alive.  He could never know while the box remained closed.  Similarly, only when either Mrs. BD or I arrived home would we know whether the pizza guy had been there or not.  Mind you, either way, there absolutely, positively would be no pizza in the house.  However, if the door bell had rang while we were gone, Griffin would talk incessantly about the experience for a period of time which would need carbon dating to calculate.  Schrödinger has no idea how lucky he is that cats can’t speak.

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Wilt Chamberlin was, arguably, one of the best professional basketball players of all time.  Off the court, his prowess with the ladies is legendary. Griffin was able to throw a basketball through a hoop once and his fondness of girls is also quite well known to readers of this blog.  The similarities do not end there.

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The only General Ed / Mainstream class that Griffin participates in is Physical Education.  The PE Coach and some of the kids in his class worked all last semester trying to help Griffin make a free throw.  Griffin has poor gross and fine motor skills and the arm strength of a T-Rex.  So this was no easy task.

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After thousands of attempts, Griffin finally sunk one.  Everyone made a big deal about it.  Especially the coach who made an announcement about the feat over the school’s PA system and also, out of his own pocket, threw a pizza party for Griffin the following week.  Griffin, in a very Wilt-like move, invited only girls to the party.  He was so proud of himself and the shot was big news around this house for quite some time.

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Sticking with the basketball theme, this semester, one of the written homework assignments the PE Coach assigned to Griff was to write a 250 word essay about Wilt Chamberlin. (Apparently they give written homework in PE nowadays.  I don’t think my evil – sadistic gym teachers back in the 70s even knew how to read or write.)

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During his research, Griffin learned that Mr. Chamberlin had once scored 100 points in one game.  A feat that has yet to be matched to this day.  Upon stumbling across this piece of information, Griffin exclaimed;

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“That’s a lot of pizza parties!!!!”

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I’m fairly certain Wilt, like Griffin, celebrated his success that night with several girls.  However, I’m pretty sure pizza wasn’t involved, though.

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